How livable is Tokyo for a single woman?

[coleman]

I hear lots of good talk about life in Tokyo: a great nightlife, good public transit, lots of options for restaurants and cafes. I’ve heard, though, that life as a single woman can be a bit daunting, particularly for an expat. Would local women of Tokyo say this is true?

[Kotaro_So]

Hi Courtney,

I am not a woman, but I will do my best to share my knowledge of the culture & livability in Tokyo. In general, you will have a pretty easy time in Tokyo as a foreigner as long as it is not work-related. In general, transportation is best in class, food is amazing, service is almost over the top.

When it comes to working in Tokyo, I'm still at my first job so I can only give you insight on what I've experienced firsthand + my assumptions on culture here. Do you plan on working here as well?

Just to give you a general view on women in Japan - men definitely have it easier in the workplace. I've met hundreds of HR departments because of my job, and I find that women are relegated to getting tea / taking notes / doing data entry while I met with the supervisor (almost always a man).

If you do plan on working here, let me know! I may be able to provide you with some things to look out for when finding a job here

[Lisa_Coffman]

I'm undergoing a gender transition but I've lived in Tokyo as a woman for 5 years. Can't compare experiences with being a man firsthand yet since I don't pass, but I'll give you a breakdown:

Public infrastructure/Leisure/Nightlife: Excellent. Trains are the best in the world and always on time. I've lived here for years and never run out of new places to go, new delicious food to eat, and am not afraid of walking home at 3am. I regularly walk around my neighborhood 7pm-12am and have never had trouble, even seen some parents with kids out at that time! The "scariest" experience I've had was a stalker but all he did was leave books in my bicycle basket until I moved my bike and it never happened again. Also maybe one crazy guy on a train who randomly shouted at me. Can't say much about nightclubs as I don't go to them but concerts are great.

Workplace: While it's not as bad as in the 80s, you may still encounter sexist attitudes in the workplace, although it wasn't so bad for me working in creative and female-dominated fields. You're more likely to experience the "benevolent sexism" variety, where you're infantilized and underestimated rather than outright hostile sexism. Stating your opinion diplomatically can be harder without coming off as aggressive - especially in your second language. This is less of a problem working in a foreign company. As a freelancer it's no issue at all.

Relationships: This is the absolute worst part of being a woman in Japan (if you like men anyway). A lot of Japanese men either have traditional ideas about gender roles or aren't interested sex/relationships at all and therefore have NO IDEA how to do it (that is, sex OR relationships). Not to mention they're so shy that you'll have to approach a lot more than you're used to. At least from my experience.

[idylanrobertson]

You might want to read Being A Broad in Japan: Everything a Western woman needs to survive and thrive Paperback – by Caroline Pover. It was published in 2001, but the general things are still true.

Overall, most straight single western women complain a lot about Japan and end up leaving sooner or later. But, I guess it depends on what you're looking for and what your priorities are.

There are a number of videos like this on YouTube where you can hear western women giving their thoughts:

[kyledupont]

Hi Courtney,

Again, not a female, but I have been living in Tokyo for 10 years as an expat and have come to know many expat women. As with all things it depends on your situation--are you coming to teach English, as an expat relocation for a corporate, or just to find work?

In general, if you really enjoy the culture and attempt to learn the language then it could be a very rewarding experience. There is no other country in the world that I have been to that are as warm once you become part of their community. On the other hand, I have had some friends that have tried to stay exclusively in the expat community here and have had less good experiences.

Although I agree with Kotaro that for Japanese women culturally embedded sexism makes the workplace a trying place, my feeling is that foreign women often are treated better. There is definitely a growing portion of society that is increasingly westernized and making life easier for expats in Tokyo--part of the challenge will be finding a place that is comfortable for you as an individual.

I travel a lot for work but always think of Tokyo as home. The culture, transportation, outdoor life (snow, mountains, and ocean both within a bit more than 1 hour), food quality, safety and nightlife are just spectacular.

Hope that is helpful.

Kyle